I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
