i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
