think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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