called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize