feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
