but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
