she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
