OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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