people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
