If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
