As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
