Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
