: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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