She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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