First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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