No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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