what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
