I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
