yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
