He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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