Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
