I'm gonna have a badass scar
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
