The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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