he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
