I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
