Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
