She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
