and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
