i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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