Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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