Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
