he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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