She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
