Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
