think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
