No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
