I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
