Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
