i don't like sucking hair
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
