She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
