Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize