This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
