Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
