i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
