Umm I'm too high to move.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
