I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
