I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
