Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
