I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
my being single is dangerous.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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