I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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