We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
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