How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
third nipple confirmed
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
